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Hello and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

On the 26th May 2018 at 00:56 my daughter Tilly was born. 34 minutes later her heart stopped beating and she passed away peacefully.

 I've decided to start writing about her story and my experiences as her mum as I come to terms with life without her. This is my attempt at helping myself navigate my way through the grief. It is also an attempt at reaching out to others going through similar and helping those who haven't try and understand, just a little bit, the heartbreak of losing a baby.

So if you are reading this because you are going through the unimaginable, I am so sorry for your loss. If you are reading this to try and understand what so many families out there are going through,  then thank you.


Charlotte  x

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The Halcyon Suite

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3 months ago today, on the 26th May, we welcomed our first born Tilly to the world. Then just 34 minutes later our hearts shattered as we had to say goodbye. I struggle with thinking about the "what ifs" because there are so, so many and they can be very confusing and painful for my grieving mind. What if she had survived being born at 25+1 weeks? I imagine even 3 months later that I probably would still be sitting next to her in Neonatal Care, reading to her, holding her hand and willing her to be strong. And then what if everything had been fine, what if I'd had a normal, healthy pregnancy? I imagine being 38+2 weeks pregnant. I imagine being pretty uncomfortable by now, hurrying up the weeks ahead. I imagine a finished nursery filled with freshly washed, new clothes for our eagerly awaited arrival. I imagine our beautiful pram in the corner of our living room; the pram that we had to cancel when our world fell apart. I remember reading the maternity policy at work wh...
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